Wednesday, October 03, 2007


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Listening: m-flo loves Alex(CLAZZIQUAI PROJECT) - Love Me After 12AM

Actually, clicking on this one is better. My own assessment of myself was an ocelot, but Mum turned me into a tiger. Just like she turned Ant into a tiger. Goodness, does she think all her children are ferocious beasts or something?

Monday, August 06, 2007

sorting hat desu

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Listening: Monkey Majik - Around the World (movie ver.)

Kope from Ant's blog.

[x] You've never done drugs.
[x] You like a lot of people.
[x] You get along with everyone.
[ ] You love FOOTBALL
[ ] You love baseball.
[x] You're into writing and art
[x] Favorite music genre is rock.
[x] You believe in "innocent until proven guilty" theory.
[x] One of your favorite colors is red or gold.
[ ] Good grades at school.
[ ] One of the worst things you can do is lie.
[ ] You plan on going to college.

[x] You're content with mostly
everything in your life right now.
[x] You laugh a lot.
[ ] You like to follow trends.
[ ] Politics suck.
[ ] You love to swim
[ ] Water polo is awesome.
[ ] Pink is one of your favorite color.
[ ] Black is morbid & depressing.
[ ] Michael Jackson is talented as a musical artist.
[x] You're an optimist.
[ ] You're very emotional.
[ ] You believe in going steady at a young age.
[ ] You haven't made fun of anyone this month.
[x] Loyalty is the MOST important thing in a relationship.

[ ] You've been depressed to a certain extent.
[x] You love to read.
[x] You appreciate theater & arts.
[ ] Sports suck.
[ ] Indie is one of your favorite genre of music.
[ ] Every once in a while you have little anger outbursts.
[x] Lying is sometimes okay.
[ ] Blue is one of your favorite colors.
[x] Knowledge is the key to power.
[x] Sarcasm is the best kind of humor.
[x] People should know what they're talking about before they talk.

[ ] There's at least one person you hate.
[x] Basketball is a good sport.
[ ] AFL Football is amazing.
[x] Black is a cool color.
[ ] You've lied about something serious.
[ ] You're a very deep person.
[ ] You have considered suicide.
[ ] You are not very loyal.
[x] You like heavy metal.
[x] They make school seem more important than it is.
[x] You're scared to grow up.
[ ] Anger is one of your primary feelings.
[ ] You have trust issues.

I score so little for everything. I really have flat emotions. XDD

Monday, July 23, 2007

NNK Forums art

(Since the old NNK forums closed, I am on an uploading spree of my very old drawings.)

Stuff done for a story we worked on, with characters we created.

Oh yea, right-to-left please.

Page 2

Page 1
Aww man, the fun times.

It was my first attmept at something fanservicey? Rather noob, but, heck, it was fun.

This, is a rather ironical comparison to my real-life then.

Right-to-left again.
It is not my plot. Don't ask. =DD

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

I don't get this lovey-emotion-thingy

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Listening: Yellowcard - Two weeks from Twenty
Watching: Gurren Lagann Episode 16
Reading: D.Gray Man Chapter 125
Random Quote: Tragically, as many as 9625 out of every 10,000 individuals may be neurotypical. - Institute for the Study of the Neurologically Typical

My sister is in love now and she cannot take it, cannot control herself anymore, cannot just ignore and must be attached to him, even if he is not a Christian. Weird feelings. BAAAHHHH. Neurotypicals. Pfftt.

I went out with a group of Japanese exchange students on Saturday. It was fun, especially treating them to Carrot Cake and Chin Chow at a hawker centre. They were like "what is this?" And I drew a carrot and grass for them. They went "wow". Heh.

All Singaporean guys should learn from the Japanese guys. Hide and Satoshi told me "You are very pretty". And being unused to being told this by another guy, I stoned for several seconds, before and bowing and saying "arigatou" profusely. =__= It is weird, because Singaporean guys never say that a girl is pretty unless they are going after them, whereas the Japanese guys do. And because of that, I have no idea how to react when being told I am pretty. =__=

Hide wanted to give me a small plushie rabbit too. I rejected it because I'm not used to presents either. (Okaayyy, I admit that I am shy!!) Damn me, was it rude to refuse it? Haha. Chinese have a custom of pushing presents: "you take lar" "no it's for you" &mdash that bit I am very Chinese (despite language impairment). Not a fan of plush toys really. =PP

More art dayo:

Bwwaah. Arm position is wrong.

Monday, June 25, 2007

now and then

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Listening: 周华健 - 江湖笑
Watching: Devil May Cry Episode 1
Random Quote: Forget about the impossible and throw reason away!! - Kamina, Gurren Lagann

THEN (2002)
1. How old were you 5 years ago?

2. Where did you go to school?
Presbyterian High School

3. Where did you work?
School ; ___ ;

4. Where did you live?

5. Where did you hang out?

6. Did you wear glasses?

7. Who were your best friends?
At Sec 2, didn't have any.

8. Who was your crush?
None? Or maybe I am lying.

9. How many tattoos did you have?
Do bruises count? =DD

10. How many piercings did you have?
2, 1 for each ear.

11. What car did you drive?
Underaged. >.<

12. Had you had your heart broken?
Emo until kena broken, I think? I don't remember my Sec 2 self a lot.

13. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?
Single (duh)

NOW (2007)
1. How old are you?

2. Where do you work?
School (still). Freelancing once a while? =PP

3. Where do you live?
Woodlands, and camping in school once a while (especially during my FYPJ next term).

4. Do you wear glasses?
Yeps, but I wear contacts once a while.

5. Who are your best friends?
CJ, Joan, Lychee, Hamster, Amirah, Yong Ming, Joyce. Mark, Paso and Anti, if I am allowed to include online friends (← computer addict)

6. Do you talk to your old friends?
Yeps, randomly when I feel like.

7. How many piercings do you have?
*points to "then"*

8. How many tattoos do u have?
*points to "then"*

9. What kind of car do you have?
*points to "then"*

10. Has your heart been broken?
Nope =3 Too dense for anything to break it, heh.

11. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter:
Single, and waiting for a right Dragon Knight of God to appear. >.<

Saturday, June 23, 2007

blue wizard?

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I fell sick yesterday, and thus didn't go for CGO that day. Rawr. It was the last day too. I wanted to hear Polygon Pictures talk!!

Anyway, that's not what I am here for. This is:

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

Ahahahaha that's true. Even if it's not how I act like. No wonder why TypeLogic describes me as "Introverted Thinking" and "Extroverted Feeling". Ahh, by the way, anyone interested can take the Jung Typology Test.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

i met 3 gods today

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Listening: Within Temptation - Angels
Reading: CG Overdrive 07 Show Directory

Square Enix Co. Ltd.
Hashimoto Shinji - Corporate Executive (Producer of FF7AC)
Nozue Takeshi - Co-director (CG Director, Co-director of FF7AC)
Kuroda Toyokata - Supervising Technical Director (Body setup, Cloth simulation for FF7AC)

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And the cute thing is, they were so human lor. Wearing white T-shirt, black polo tees, jeans, white skull caps. Setting up their own booth, sticking up their posters on the booth with double-sided tape, sticking wrong, peeling it off, grumbling when they tore it a little. Drinking coke from vending machines, asking for packet green teas. So unlike all those stars who 走路有风, they don't need bodyguards, they thank you when you ask them for their signatures, they smile and laugh with you... they're like, so completely human.

And they look thinner in real life than in their photographs. Nozue-sama looks like he hasn't eaten for months. ._.

I met Stanley Lau too. He's so friendly!! And really tall. Siyin thinks he is handsome. We were looking at the imagine prime artbook (S$70), and he came and chat with us. And later at the end of the day, he waved at us and said goodbye!! So nice of him. XDD

Saru is thinking of Polygon Pictures. They are looking for Character Modelers who can Maya. Imagine, work in Japan, earn yen, change back to SGD, woot. Need to work on demo reel!!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

so i have been told i look like anime

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Listening: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Face down (acoustic)
Watching: Gurren Lagann Episode 11

I drew this as self-caricature, anime-style, and I have been told it looks like me. Do I look that pretty/freaky?

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Blehhh my painting deteriorated. Ugly.

I like the b/w version better.
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Yes I do assignments until bored.

Friday, June 08, 2007

i am tired

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Listening: SFA - Rising Sun

Bubeek came back from Europe. She liked the new blogskin I made for her.

I did my drawing with pen.

I don't feel like doing matte anymore. My eyes are going to bleed. I don't care, i'll just hand it in on Monday.

I have some lame crap game intro concept for my MG. Am using NNK's RP story.

Some lame crap lousy drawing. Screwy perspective, screwy pose, etcetera. According to Pictor, she has "hollow eyes that pierce your entire being... and stare into your soul... bearing holes into you..." =___=
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Monday, June 04, 2007

introducing: my kids~ ^ ^

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Listening: m-flo loves MONKEY MAJIK - Picture Perfect Love

I think I took care of them long enough, until I begin to think of them as my kids. I know Mum doesn't think that way. But anyway, I do. ^ ^

I know Mum told me not to mention the kid's names on my blog, but I don't like not referring to people by their names. So BWWAAA. Heck care.

Introduction then. We have 7 kids altogether, three with Autism, two with Intellectual Disability (Global Delay) and two with Down's Syndrome.

Bryan - 7 - Down's Syndrome
- My "favourite" na. =3 He hugs me a lot. He's quite cute and very spoilt. I concede defeat when it comes to him. (Yes, I just admitted that I am cute and spoilt.

Desirel - 10 - Global Delay
- Another of my "favourite" bwaha. She pulls my hair a lot. But she's pretty obedient otherwise. ^ ^

Ezekiel - 6 - Autism
- The amazing biter. But he's small, so he's easy to carry about. Justine always starts chanting "shi shi" when I carry him. Because once last time, when I carried him, then put him down, and then the next second, his pants became wet. O___O Omg, I almost kena lor!! Scary.

Wei Wei - 9? - Global Delay
- His name is Shao Wei, but he has a lot of other names. I call him "Wei Wei" (he calls himself that too), Eric calls him "Fatty-fatty" (mwahahaha he is Eric's "favourite" >.<), and Yin Lei calls him "Xiao Shuai". No, seriously, he has a nice looking face. His stomach though, is BIG. So when he runs, it is hilarious to look at.

Jonathan - 8? - Autism
- He loves drumming on things. He runs a lot too. Wait, actually, everyone runs a lot. He is one of Galvin's "favourite". =PP

Joshua - 10? - Autism
- Another of Galvin's "favourite". His English is good. None of them talks a lot, but when Joshua does talk, his grammar and pronounciation is flawless. It's funny when he says goodbye to people, because he doesn't talk to them, but rather reads their nametags. So he would take Galvin's nametag and say to it "GoodbyeUncleGalvinWidjaja". Ahahahahaha.

Joseph - 7? - Down's Syndrome
- A really small sized boy. He seems to be Bryan's best friend. Bryan absolutely loves him.

Today, there a few new things that happened. The day started off with Mum and I going into Omega3. And we found Bryan clinging like a leech to the levite who was holding the door open for the first service children to go out, and the second service children to come in. When we came, the she was like "Ahh, thank you..." (Poor her.) Bryan saw me and started squealing in joy and ran to hug me. Aww. Moments like these makes me feel that my being alive actually had a purpose.

Some time later, Joseph came. He was a boy that hadn't been around for like quite a few months, so his sudden appearance was a surprise. Bryan hugged him and refused to leave his side for the entire of worship. And like, wow, this is the first time I've seen Bryan actually participating during worship, jumping and dancing with the other neurotypical children. He was like holding Joseph's hand and making Joseph dance along with him. So cute lar.

And, for some reason or another, I have no idea, but I ended up with Joshua for worship. O___O (Usually Galvin or Eric takes him, because he's older and needs a lot of strength.) Strangely, I found it easier than expected. Maybe I grew stronger. I held Joshua in front of me, both of us standing. And he is like sitting on my lap, and his hands (I have to hold them or he would bite his hands) were pulling at mine. Basically, his full body weight was almost on my legs and arms. Weeeeee, good training.

For reason unknown once more, I had Jonathan for circle time (it's our teaching session, but it's kinda impossible to actually do any teaching with them). He kept running all over, and I kept giving chase. >.< He can't even hold a pencil properly, unlike the other children, so I really had to hold his hand and force him to do everything, from colouring to sticker-pasting to puzzle-fixing.

Finally, we went back to Omega3 (circle time is in Omega2). Am I saw a scene which was so cute and sweet and gay (oh crap too much influence from yaoi fangirls and crazy FY schoolmates). Hmm, let's see, Joseph was sitting on the floor, and Bryan knelt down in front of him, and held Joseph's head with his hands, and put his face really close to his, and started to talk to him. It was really sweet. Innocent childhood na. If it were not for the fact that it appears one-sided at times: Joseph doesn't really respond. It is funny, how Bryan somehow knows that they are similar, and has chosen Joseph to be his best friend. SO CUTE~

As usual, while waiting for their parents to come and collect them, all the kids, neurotypical or not, happily ran wild about. (And as usual, my hair got pulled by Desirel.) Wei Wei started peeling off the masking tape markings on the floor, and a lot of other kids followed suit.

There was this kindergarten girl who managed to pull off a long stretch masking tape and had rolled it up to make a ball. She said hello to me, so I played with her, throwing the ball to her, and her throwing back. She's really adorable. I am not sure why, but at that moment, I felt something: I realised how different a neurotypical child is from those who are kids. She responds when you call her. She laughs at her mistakes (when she throws the ball off course). She can tell distance. She knows what her strength is. She talks. She comments on my actions. I don't know what I should feel, but I just sensed the gap there. Sad, I suppose? No, it shouldn't be that way. What...?

Yay end.

PS: Same as below. *copies and pastes* I only posted now, because I saved it as draft and was lazy to edit until now.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

New comp yay

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Listening: Youth Alive - Can't live a day
Watching: Darker than Black Episode 09

One day, one glorious day,
I'll sing your praises in the presences of angels.
Until that glorious day,
I give my life to you.

Saru is dead tired. So here's a brief recap.

Friday, Late Morning - Lunch
I had lunch with Joan and Meiyun and Joyce and Xueqi. I haven't talked a load of crap with the former three for such a looong time, due to their IAP, and it was fun being with them again. They're still in their usual, extremely horny and high state, and always treating me like a little girl still. -.- I enjoyed their company though.

Friday, Afternoon - Drawing
WE HAD A HOT FEMALE MODEL!! Yesh, for once, a girl model. She has a very good figure, mwaha.

Friday, Evening - Youth Alive RADICAL CONFERENCE 07
It was fun!! I went with Yining to his church. I have never before been so appreciative of Max Pavilion. Their auditorium is as small as Omega3, the Timothy Club room. But their church, being small, are a bunch of really warm people. They have a homely feeling to it, kinda different from FCBC. (I still love my kids though.) If they were to go by the phrases that our church has (Go Deep, Look Far, Ask Big), they are probably at the "Go Deep" part now. That's good. ^ ^ I pray that God will bless their church.

And oh, Yining like dragged me to all of his cell members, and asked them, "How old you think she is?" And they all answered something along the lines of 14, 15, 16. No one guess that I am a third-year poly student. Ahh crap. Is that a good or a bad thing? Am I not suppose to behave that much like a child?

Friday, Night - New Computer!
Yay my new wife came when I was out!! (Earlier than expected.) The is like a damn big-ass 22-inch 1680x1050 pixels. Amazing crap. Love it. Fixed it until like 0300.

Saturday, Afternoon - Transferring files
I like spent the whole day transferring files from my ex-wife to my new one. In two 1GB USB Flash Drives. And what's worse was, the USB ports at the front weren't working, so I had to keep poking it in the back. Annoying like crap. But I played some Granado Espada. =DD And zomg, the graphics for Granado Espada on this comp and screen is like, God-like. I found out that my CPU tower has like, fives fans. Damn imba. (Pardon the use of gaming language.)

So that's the summary. I only posted now, because I saved it as draft and was lazy to edit until now.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

first try at cell-shading~


i actually used the photoshop pen tool ._. (<-- is a hater of photoshop's pen tool) just the shading though. i did the lineart in illustrator (<-- illustrator fan).

i copied this from a screenshot of the hxh anime, off crunchyroll =___= i am amazed at how i managed to turn some really low quality small image into this.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

i saw this on a sticker sold at Acts Lifestyle

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Listening: E Jan - Do You Feel Like I Feel
Watching: Hunter X Hunter Episode 27

Luck is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

That must explain why Saru is always very lucky. ^ ^

There was another sticker that was very cute too. It read: God, please help me to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am. Mwaha now I really wonder, what does Romie think of me?

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Small = Power

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Listening: Anberlin - We Dreamnt in Heist
Watching: Sisters of Wellber Episode 2

Just a normal Sunday at church, but it is what I look forward to every week - playing with the special needs kids. ^ ^

Today, I found out how small does not mean weak. Eric was wearing a jacket, and he got bitten by a 6-year-old boy with autism. And when he took off his jacket, WOAH we found the most interesting teeth marks on his arm. There was an open wound even!! And what was funny is, the boy is missing two front teeth - imagine how funny the teeth marks look. XDD

I am seriously amazed at the strength of the kid's jaw. (He bit through the jacket!!) He is so small, yet his strength is monstrous. I didn't go without a take-home souvenir either: I got a scratch on my arm, from the same kid. >.< If it counts, I got molested by the same kid (yes, him again), the 7-year-old Down's Syndrome boy (← this guy is emo-king) and the global delay (intellectual disability) 10-year-old girl on several counts. =___=

Children Ministry should cover our medical and protection fees. =DD

PS: The Down's Syndrome boy is really spoilt. He won't listen to me when I tell him to return the first aid kit he stole, he drops his worksheets and insists that I pick them up for him (no way I'll do that - bad habit), and if I scold him he turns away and ignores me. And when I go to look after another kid, the possessive bugger would give me a hug and pull me away. (As though he owns me... jealous. -.-) Like, fine, you want me to be with you, and yet you don't want to listen to me and want to boss me around... You good lar.

(And I have a late blog entry for Wednesday. Scroll down if you want to read.)

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

first time eating claypot rice?

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Listening: FictionJunction YUUKA - Yakusoku
Watching: Darker than Black Episode 6
Reading: One Piece 456

Today we had outdoor drawing lessons in Chinatown. And Mr Brian Hladin likes the sketches I drew of the David Club children last Sunday. XDD

After that, some who had drawing, a few who had FYPJ and two who had IA all trooped over to Outram Park MRT to eat at the Claypot Rice stall ran by Hamster's mum. 17 of us in total.

It is funny, but I've never eaten claypot rice before. I found it a little too salty. ~ _ ~ But I loved the chicken. =DD Ate a lot of it.

Chinese people are really funny/weird. Because there were so many of us, we didn't want to let Hamster's mum treat all of us. And they refused to tell us how much the meal cost either. So we each forked out $3 and chased Hamster about trying to give her the money.

Chased their whole family (two aunts plus one mother plus Hamster herself) trying to give them money. I've never seen people running away from money before. -.-

I asked Dad;
Saru: If you own a food stall, and your kid comes bringing a group of his/her classmates over to eat, would you charge them?
Dad: No I won't.
Saru: Ehh??! Why?
Dad: Because they are your friends arh.
Saru: Ehh? I still don't get it...
Dad: Well, they are your friends, so I would like to give them a treat.
Saru: Ahh... Then if they keep wanting to give you money?
Dad: Then as much as possible, I'll try to refuse them...
Saru: Why?
Dad: Maybe it's Chinese custom or for face reasons, but it isn't right to charge your friends because they're like guests...
Ahh oh no. Did we do something wrong to Hamster's family then? Chasing them around to give them money... ._. (It was fun playing catching like that though.)

Arrhhh heck care. =3 Bwahahahaha.

Ahhh. Speaking about Daddy. You can find his photo here. Rock bottom of the list. Looks quite retarded.

Sunday, May 13, 2007


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Listening: Heartsdales - Shining

Late, but I cannot be bothered. Still posting anyway.

Monday, May 07, 2007


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Listening: Hillsong - Mighty to Save
The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.

           — Zephaniah 3:17 [NIV]

And because I am in the drawing mood, I am also in the spamming mood.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

i swear that

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Listening: Kawaragi Shiho - Shun


Yes, that's a resolution. I'm drawing it now. Will be rendering in illustrator. =3 I am writing here so I don't forget about it.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

I guess Lee Yeung is sort of right,

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Listening: Mitsumune Shinkichi - Atatakana Kokoro

when he said "you should be a kindergarten school teacher". I'm not teaching in a kindergarten, but working with the kids at church is something like that.

So far, I've been kicked, clawed, hugged, boxed, bitten, wrestled and glomped. Interesting, isn't it?

A few things I learnt over this few weeks:
01. Who cares a crap about democracy?!
There's no such thing as them saying "no" when asking them to pick up their stuffs. It is "you MUST pack up". We're a bunch of autocratic authoritarians. Obey our orders, we who are God's appointed over you!!

02. Throw grammar away.
Nobody understands our English. Perfect English always results in long sentences. Things like "You eat, you stand" and "Good sitting" and "Good colouring" is fine. Any sentence longer than that, and they'll get distracted and not listen anymore.

03. Wrestling is a good sport.
Yesh it seriously is. Especially with the autistic boys. My arm strength has increased significantly. Heh.

04. Pick on those who are weaker.
Heh. Sounds terrible, but that's the truth. I can't fight the older autistic boys--I'll be owned. The new autistic boy who just came in is small, so I can fight him. But the weak are not that weak. The autistic boy bit me (there was a bruise on my wrist for a day), the girl with ID pulled my hair and the down's syndrome boy smacked/clawed me.

05. Hugs are the all-cure elixir.
The kid with down's syndrome cried today. Both he and the girl wanted to carry the giant puzzle box, but the girl took it first and went off. He cried. -.- And refused to move even after only the two of us were left in the room. In the end, after some coaxing, I gave him a hug and carried/hugged him back to the main room. Heavy~~~ But he's small, so yea, it's not so bad.

Mweeheh, that's what I like about them. They're really simple to understand. If a normal person emos, I would have to think of how to make him/her feel better. But if it's one of the special need kids, give them a hug, and all issues are resolved. Not just him, but everyone one of them too. They listen for a while when you hug them. Now, if only a normal person would just cheer up the moment you hug them, then I wouldn't have so much problem thinking of things to say when my friends emo. I could just hug them.

Pastor Linda says I'm allowed to stay with the special needs kids~!! (There was a possibility that I would be assigned to the normal kids, but she let me stay where I was.) XDD Saru is happy.

Friday, April 27, 2007

visual dna dayo~

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Listening: Tackey & Tsubasa - Crazy Rainbow
Watching: Claymore Episode 3

got this from bubeek's blog.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

emotes of Xi

(Since the old NNK forums closed, I am on an uploading spree of my very old drawings.)

Monday, April 16, 2007

second day at timothy club

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Listening: SoundTeMP - Amaranth
Reading: 1 Corinthians 12: 7 [CEV]

The Spirit has given each of us a special way of serving others.

Yea, that was the verse my cell leader showed me. So that I won't keep the visions He gave me to myself. =x

Yesterday, I went to serve at the church's children ministry during 2nd service. Two words: DAMN FUN.

The children ministry consists of 3 divisions, which they call: David Club (18 months to 4 years old), Timothy Club (K1 to K2 and Primary 1 to 3, 5 to 9 years old)) and Barnabas Club (Primary 4 to 6, 10 to 12 years old). I stuck with the special children this week. It was fun being with them.

Let's see, the one who I was with most of the time was a girl with intellectual disability (in short, it is called ID). The first time you meet her, you would think that she is quite normal: She is adorable, sweet-looking (very sweet), responsive, polite, helpful and such. She seems completely different from the rest of the boys there. And yes, she is the only girl amongst the group of special children.

But her main problem is this, she isn't as smart, is slow in learning, and she can get bullied easily. I noticed that she had a problem fixing very simple puzzles. She would also ignore you whenever she is ask an open-ended question: any question that requires her to express what she thinks. Though, she answers yes/no questions very promptly.

There is another boy with ID, who always bullies her. (He doesn't know what he does is called bullying though.) He would pinch her cheeks, press her head in between his palms, poke her face, pull her ears and so on. (Thank goodness, nothing physically harmful.) Yet she does not respond to him at all. She would just continue whatever she is doing--just standing or sitting there or talking to him and letting him do whatever he wants to her. Whenever we catch him doing that, we scold him and make him apologize to her. He does so after a while, but as usual, there is no response from her.

Mum tells me that her parents insist on sending her to normal school. There, the kids would always shout at her and push and hit her because she is easy to bully. And she doesn't know that it is wrong for people to do that to her so she doesn't defend herself. That is the reason why we don't put her with normal kids in church--she is slow, and would lag behind in absorbing information, and the other children would either scold or isolate her.

Speaking of the boy with ID, I am going to say that he is one of the most self-obsessed, ego-maniacal kid I've ever met. During colouring session, he was the first to finish colouring his picture. (Actually, none of them could colour properly. They are all colouring worse than what other children their age are capable of.) Then, he would turn the paper around and start drawing a face. When asked: "Who is that?" He would say his own name. He drew another picture, and says that is himself too. Everything he draws is himself. He is the only person he ever draws. O__O Fantastic ego, isn't it? To top that, he is extremely greedy and kiasu, grabbing several colour pencils at a time during colouring session, grabbing a whole handful of twisties to eat at a go and so on. Greedy.

Though, I have a feeling that his self-esteem stems from his water bottle. He clings to it most of the time. Getting him to obey you is a simple task of taking his water bottle while he misplaces it somewhere and telling him, "If you don't listen, I will throw away your water bottle" or if he still has it, you can put your hand on the bottle and say, "If you don't listen, I will take your water bottle away". And after that, whatever you say, he listens.

But really, these two are completely easy to look after when compared to the autistic boys. The first one I was assigned to look after (because Galvin wasn't around yet) is very active. His senses are haywire, especially to touch. He would often sit and start drumming on the floor or chair with his hands. When I tried to get him to sit down and stop running about, he would giggle, hold my hands to put them on his chest and lean back on me. (I grab him from behind.) He is small, so I can easily push him back and make him sit.

I was told not to let him or any of the boys get too physically close. They can cling all they want to the guy helpers, but not the girl helpers. Right now at their age, they don't know that it isn't right for them to hug females and they do that unreservedly, but it would be bad for them if they were to carry their habits to their teenage years.

After I got him to sit, he kept taking my hands and putting them on his face, making them move all over his face. Damn I was so scared I would poke his eyeballs out. His sense of touch is off, so he must have liked hands on his face very much. Half a minute later, he threw my hands off his, got up, and ran around laughing. Near the sound equipment. (Electricity and wires, oh joy.) When I caught up, he ran to the back of the room and lied down. I couldn't get him up, because he took my out-stretched hands to cover his face again. (OMG OMG eyeballs eyeballs!!)

Thank goodness, I was rescued by Justine. She shows him small placards and said to him, "Look, look, STAND." The card had a picture a figure standing, like the male toilet sign. He saw it and stood.

There was another boy with autism. He is very active/violent. I watched a lot of wrestling matches between him and Galvin. Getting him to sit still was a challenge. He kept on taking off his sticker-nametag and pasting it everywhere. When my adorable little girl with ID got pasted on, she tried to paste it back on him, and got kicked. O_o I was like: ZOMG you kicked a girl!! ; ___ ; As usual, she didn't care, and went back to paste his nametag back on him anyway. Yea, he has a habit of using his feet a lot. Thank goodness, everywhere he goes, he would kick off his sandals. He doesn't like having them on.

I noticed, that he is very good at fixing puzzles. He finished a hard one (hard for children his age) very fast. He gets pretty selfish though, and he doesn't know how to share the toys. My poor girl... ; ___ ; There was once where he wanted the whole box of stationery, and the special needs specialist refused to give it to him. So he tried to bite her. And when she didn't let him bite her, he started biting himself. Super placard to the rescue. (It says "NO BITING", and has a picture of a mouth with teeth, and a cross over it.)

Getting him to share was funny. He had a whole box of twisties. So we thought we would try to teach him how to share by asking him for it. He would ignore all requests at first, and after some persuasion, he would hand ONE solo twistie to the asker. It was the smallest twistie he could find. =x Ahh oh wells. A mini tiny one is better than none--it is a start is learning to share. ^ ^

I've learnt my lesson with autistic boys: let the guy helpers handle them. Females don't have the strength to wrestle them.

*scrolls up* Wahhh so long. Finishing already~

One activity which I found interesting was the blanket one. We would have all the children sit together in the center, then spread a huge light blue bedsheet over them, with us helpers holding the sides of it. Like this:
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Then, we would sing them songs, and at the same time, move the bedsheet up and down. So the kids would have this blue sky over them that keep flowing up and down.

At first, it puzzles me as to why we were doing this. It seems that the children look forward to blanket time every session. Then I realized that the children were relaxed. They kept still, even those with autism, as they stare at the bedsheet go up and down above them, touching it with glee every time it came down low enough for them to touch.

Apparently, it is something which calms them down. Because most of these children are soloist who don't know how to play with other children, this is the only time where you can actually seat them together, close to each other, without a wrestling match going on. There, they can actually talk to each other (about the bedsheet). Usually, each one bothers with his own business and none care for interacting with each other at all (with the exception of the girl). Unless they are fighting over food or colour pencils, of course.

Hmmm that should be all that I have to share. Dinner time now~!!

Saturday, April 07, 2007

nakama . rivals . clients

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Listening: Anberlin - Alexithymia

The people that you interact with in your life can be classified into three categories: nakama, rivals and clients.

Nakamas are people whom you like a lot. And you play and work together with them and like being with them. Rivals are people who you compete against, and who annoy you a lot. Some times, a nakama can become a rival, and a rival can become a nakama, it is vicey-versa. Clients are people whom you feel nothing for, but you have no choice but to interact with them. You have no qualms about acting as someone you are not, and just behave like how they want you to.

Gomen dayo~ Saru was emo for about an hour today.

Friday, March 23, 2007


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Listening: S.F.A. - Esa Promesa
Watching: Code Geass Episode 20
Reading: Hunter X Hunter Volume 10

I'm finally done with SP3!! It's not very good, but it's passable. I am satisfied with a pass.

Now for Minor Project! At least it is something that I like: 3D Modeling. XDD

Sunday, March 04, 2007

"You should be a kindergarten school teacher"

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Listening: Kubota Osamu - Aria de Coimbra
Playing: Granado Espada (Closed Beta)

And yes, that was what Lee Yeung said.


No no no no no Saru doesn't want that!! I want my own kids, not other people's kids. No no no no no~~~ But then Yong Ming said that if that were the case, all the kids would probably go missing or something. So they decided I'll be better off owning a pet shop since animals can be put in cages whereas kids can't be.

But what I found was most strange was that, he said "You have a certain kind of love that is different from other people and others around you can feel it as well."

O___O Saru doesn't know what love is!! I can't tell the difference between liking Romie (dog) and liking Yong Ming (classmate, 师父). And liking Lao Pa (father) and liking Lee Yeung (classmate, advisor). Hmm okay maybe I respect Lao Pa a lot more, and disturb him a lot more as well. Though well, I do know that there are different levels of "like", different levels of "closeness" and different levels of "respect". Like my "like" level for Ant (sister) is the maximum high, but my "closeness" level with Lao Ma is higher than that of Ant's.

So I protest and say: "Nooo~~ I don't know how to love one~" Daryl (or was it Lee Yeung? I forgot na) says: "You don't know how to love. 废话!!" Mweeh. Scary.

So there, it is strange, don't you think? That I am seen as "showing love" even though I don't know anything about it at all. When I say that, I mean that if I am to be separated from the people I like a lot, I wouldn't mind at all. It feels bad, like I am lying, when I meet somebody I haven't seen for a long time and I say that "I miss you" because I don't. Though, I'll be happy to play and laugh and talk with them.

I find that the way people treat me resembles the way I treat Romie. Like:
  • Romie is useless and can do nothing. Same for me.

  • Romie and tags me about everywhere and if I stay up late (like now) he stays up too. Saru follows friends around if they want they company.

  • Romie doesn't betray people. Saru doesn't... well at least I can't think of any incident. My memory gets wonky often, so I won't know.

  • If Romie is happy, he shows it; if he is sad he shows it. Same as Saru. Saru is too lazy to bother to bother acting happy if I am pissed off.

  • People will like Romie and play cuddle him even though Romie hasn't done anything for them. Uweeahhh people play with me too. Especially Joyce. And I play with people too. XDD

  • Romie trusts people and accepts them for what they are like. Saru too. I know CJ and Lee Yeung and Ham all tell me that LS is just acting so that we would let her off or something, but somehow... Neh, I don't believe it. Not like I don't trust them though, just that I don't wanna doubt LS.

Things that I am not like Romie though, is that I am a lot less emotionally sensitive than he is. Romie can tell when a person is happy (and be playful), when a person is angry (and flee) and when a person is sad (he will stay beside them and be quiet). Saru is too stupid to sense that. Romie also misses me when I am away for a few days, and he wouldn't eat breakfast or dinner properly for that few days. Stupid dog na. If I die before him, he'll die the following week.

Oh it is late. I shall go and sleep now!! LaoPa is bringing us all the Waraku to eat later after church!! XDD Yayness. I've been waiting for that for months. ^ ^ Mweehee.

the end of SP4 signifies the start of SP3

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Listening: refio+Shimotsuki Haruka - Hachimitsu
Watching: The Place Promised in our Early Days

Yay SP4 went on well!! Mr Eugene liked our animation a lot, his eyes were so big during the presentation, they were bigger than Joan's. He loved the concept, saying it was very original and so on. Ham's uploading it to yousendit to send it me soon, so i'll upload the link here soon too. (Here you go.)

I hope we would get an "A" for SP4!! If we do, that would be the first time I get an "A" for a Studio Project. It'll be so nice na.

We went to Mr Jacques after our assessment, telling him that LS didn't contribute much, and asking for him to look into the matter. It was strange though, that the one who was most fired up about telling Mr Jacques LS to bring justice to us - Cheryl, got so nervous in the middle of talking to him that she completely forgot what she wanted to say and Saru had to continue for her. (She told Saru beforehand what she want to say na.) Mr Jacques just nodded his usual cheerful and and was like "Hmm sure!".

My IAP is batch 4, meaning it would be during the November to January period. That means that my FYPJ would be batch 3, from August to October. And that I'll be taking my academic modules first.

During my Academic semester, I'll have to complete my SP3 which I failed, and my Minor Project. The dateline for SP3 is 21 March, the dateline for Minor is 23 April.

I won't have as much time for Minor as everyone else would have because of my SP3. ; ___ ; But Saru will pass SP3!! Hamster is really nice to me, she says that if I need any help for SP3, she would help. Mweehee. >=D

I am thinking of making a cat and monkey fight each other for SP3. It was inspired by my convo with Cheryl about Joyce and myself. Ahahahaha.
Ghost Hunt says:
Ghost Hunt says:
joyce bites?
[jo] Now for SP3!! says:
[jo] Now for SP3!! says:
whenever i come on msn and she see me
[jo] Now for SP3!! says:
she will go BITE BITE BITE
[jo] Now for SP3!! says:
Ghost Hunt says:
[jo] Now for SP3!! says:
she is kamineko after all
Ghost Hunt says:
neko n saru dun go 2gether i guess
[jo] Now for SP3!! says:
and you know kamineko always bites sakaki
Ghost Hunt says:
[jo] Now for SP3!! says:
but joyce always plays with me
[jo] Now for SP3!! says:
Ghost Hunt says:
[jo] Now for SP3!! says:
rawr what is so funny?
Ghost Hunt says:
Ghost Hunt says:
i cannot image
Ghost Hunt says:
neko n saru play
Ghost Hunt says:
or neko PLAY with saru
Ghost Hunt says:
[jo] Now for SP3!! says:
she can bite my tail and swing me around
Ghost Hunt says:
[jo] Now for SP3!! says:
and i can pinch her whiskers
Ghost Hunt says:
=___= that is so not playing

Writing another entry in a while!

Monday, February 26, 2007


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Listening: HITOMI - Stories

I sms-ed Cheryl and Hamster saying:
; _ ; LS sms-ed me sounding so cheerful and nice and normal... My conscience is pricking.

Hamster replied:


(Will update this post with Cheryl's reply.) Okay, Cheryl didn't reply.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

I like my voice when I just wake up. It sounds retarded.

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Listening: ALI PROJECT - Baragoku Otome
Watching: My crap-o-la playblasts of Scene 3

No the title doesn't have anything to do with what I am here to rant about.

It was just that yesterday morning, I woke up with a funny voice, sounding the same as the voice I had on Sunday morning. Ant says it sounds whiney. Lao Pa says it sounds like my body is walking whilst my soul is in bed. And Lao Ma says it was act-cute-till-pukable. But it just sounds very funny to me. I wish I could record it, and then play it to myself when my voice is normal and laugh about it.

Today (or rather: this week), Saru finally understood why Lee Yeung dislikes LS so much. ~@#$%^&* Saru will write in point form.
  1. She scolds me for msn-ing, both Cheryl and I for going on headphones with music, but she herself opens a safari window for online shopping.

  2. She spends an hour whining at Cheryl to take over her scene, claiming she sucks at 3D animation, and that my rig sucks. While it is true that my rig sucks, but, if Cheryl can do it, why can't she? (Besides, whose rig doesn't suck?)

  3. Yesterday, there was a briefing for students who are selected to go the the interview to stay at Gobelins (Paris). When Mr Eugene said that Gobelins needed Character Animators, Hamster heard her say: "Oh, I love character animation!" WTH.

  4. Obviously she CAN do animation. She is the TOP STUDENT, for goodness sake.

  5. She can really slack. On thursdays, her schedule was: 9am breakfast. 11am late breakfast. 3pm lunch. 6pm dinner. 9pm supper. And according to Hamster, each time she goes out for a meal, it would be for an hour.

  6. She has an even lower EQ than I do. She comes back after the 1.5hr dinner, then bugs us with "You guys show Jacques the animation?" "Yea." "Why never call me??!!" "What for? You didn't animate any scenes." "Awww..... Still must call me what, I want to know what you guys are doing..." "You didn't do animation, so even if you see sometimes your comments won't work." "What did Jacques say then?" "A few changes, that's all." "What kinda changes?" "Minor changes." "Like what kind lar?" "Erm you expect us to tell you that the butt is supposed to shift right instead of left?" Like for goodness sake, the 3 of us are FRIGGIN' TIRED already.

  7. After that, she looked through Cheryl's Scene 2 and asks "Where is my walk cycle?! Why did you redo it?!" "Because yours had something wrong. "No it was okay!! Weilun looked through and says it was good!!" "You replaced my walk, and I feel like I have wasted my time animating it..." "It didn't fit in with the scene......" "Why not?! Weilun says can one!!" And after that, Hamster and I couldn't take it anymore, and left the room, abandoning Cheryl to the claws of the evil one. -.-

  8. That same day, all she had to do was to do a poster. She kept asking Hamster a lot of things, as though she is lazy to used her own brain. And she couldn't even finish it within that day. She behaved as though whatever she was doing was a big deal, when I could do whatever she did in 3 hours, Cheryl in an hour, Hamster in 15 minutes. (Cheryl is fast because she is good at being ultra cheapo, and Hamster herself is the queen of 2D.

  9. Yesterday morning, she complained and nagged to Hamster about the two of us being late. (I came at 12, Cheryl came at 1.) Hamster said she felt like telling her that, "They are late because they are tired. You are the reason why they are so exhausted lor. They stayed over the day before to cover up for your work leh." And she kept distracting Hamster by talking about the things she see online shopping, and other pointless talk. Hamster was on the verge of insanity. She was damn relieved when I came. XDD

Really, what LS is doing is upsetting the rest of our group. Cheryl was boiling in anger for the most of the time - Hamster and I prevented her from blowing her top off at LS, for the sake of our project, telling her she can do so after our presentation. Hamster keeps teetering to keep a sound mind to prevent herself going mad. I get annoyed by her, and I don't like to see Cheryl and Hamster feeling the way they are.

At any rate, as the leader, I was forced had to make the decision about what to do with her. So I decided that we would just keep our peace and write the credits ACCORDING TO EACH PERSON'S WORK.

LS annoyed me again. I talked to Lee Yeung to cool off. It feels comfortable to talk to Lee Yeung na. Saru wants a big brother like him. And Yong Ming can be my pet little brother. Whaha.

Neeways, I told Lee Yeung what happened, and he told what me what's going on. LS finally feels a litttle isolated from the three of us, so she approaches me to ask what if she has done anything wrong, that she knew she was mean by shouting at us, and if there is anything she can do to help. Lee Yeung says that is her pattern: Only when there's nothing left for her to do because she has pushed away all her share of work, she will start to realize that her team members are avoiding her (because we are unhappy about her, duh), and of all the people to approach, she would look for because I am the softest.

And truth be told, I would have been swayed to feel sorry, had Lee Yeung not told me that. -.- I was the last person in the group (if not, the whole animation cohort who know her well enough) to know this ugly side of her. Cheryl and Lee Yeung are always telling me, "She take advantage of you you also dunno! You must learn!! Cannot always be so blur!!" Now Saru gets what they mean. ^ ^

It is strange though, that she doesn't even know what she did to make us flee from her like plague. Saru is like that too na. I wouldn't know what I did was wrong and would ask people to explain. But what is funny is that whatever Saru asks, people would be patient and nice enough to explain it to me. No one feels like explaining anything to LS though. I wonder why. I wanted to explain too, but I was scared to say anything wrong. And then it'll make her dwell on the matter and we won't get any work done.

Hmm to sum up the matter, LS is: super selfish, uber slacker, the epitome of low EQ with the most rock bottom of self-awareness. (At least Saru is self-aware, I know I am naive and etc.)

On a lighter note, Mr Jacques gave me a pack of Raspberry sweets today!! Because offered him a sweet, and he saw the whole pack I had on my table and say "Oohhh so you like sweets a lot!" Then he went back to his office and got a pack of sweets for me. So sweet of him na. ^ ^ The pack had french words on it, and he said they came from Canada. The sweets are french-canadian, just like he is!! XDD Funny thing is, when I tell everyone the sweets are from Jacques, every single one had the same response "Are you sure they are not poisoned?" Bwahahaa.

And on an annoying record, I have been asked the same question THREE TIMES this month. It must be because of Valentine's Day. "How come you don't have a boyfriend yet? You're very cute what." =____= DO I LOOK LIKE THE SORT WHO WOULD SURELY HAVE A BOYFRIEND??!!! Zomg.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Camp. Yay.

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Listening: Onmyouza - Kouga Ninpou Chou
Watching: Cheryl's playblast of SP4 scene1

I'm camping in school today. LS has fallen asleep already. Cheryl's animating the first scene. Hamster's at home since her dad doesn't allow her to stay.

And Saru's rigging. Yesh, my MSN nick says: rigging and paint weight are both evil. Lychee's says: And SP4 is the root of all evil.

But it has been fun though! ^ ^ My body likes the adrenaline produced by stress. XDD And I have formed a close personal bond with the mac. It is now refered to as "MY comp". Mwaha.

I have been given the role of sabotaged into being the leader. But my group is a cool group, most of the time they are worried that they're not doing enough, so it's easy to assign tasks.

I rig really slow. Three times over. First time due to forgetting to unwrap. Second and third due to an extra joint. Fourth time I had the (very wonderful) Jacques teach me, so I got it right. But no one screams at me or complain since they all can't rig. I'm the only one who knows how to rig/paint weight.

Oh, Cheryl's watching anime. Her turn to rest too.

Back to work now. =)

Wednesday, February 07, 2007


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Listening: Hajime Chitose - Kataritsugu Koto
Reading: Job 5: 17-27 [CEV]

Nope that wasn't just some random left-to-right hitting of keys on my keyboard. Search for "ASD" on Wikipedia and it's one of those things there.

Speaking about that, I just checked myself against the list of things there. I scored 5/8 for Social, 4/11 for Language, 1/5 for the imagination/adherence (yayness, lowest one heh) and 2/4 for Sensory. I wonder if I've gotten any better.

Let's see, today we talked a lot during dinner. It was fun since I got to know everyone better. ^ ^ Maybe except for Lychee, since I've been hearing her talk for a long time. Not like the rest are less talkative, but they just speak of serious stuff less often.

Lee Yeung's question just reinforced the fact of how abstract "love" is to me. And I think crap oh noes I want to have children so much, but what happens if I am as apathetic as I am now? What if I don't understand why my children feel a certain way? I can't always go to my mother and ask "How will a normal person think?" - right? And what is my husband is frustrated with my stupidity and inability to experience and comprehend "normal" human emotions? Will he still be a good father?

How do I know what is "love" neeways? I like a lot of people. I like Hamster CJ Clara Joan Joyce Cheryl LS Lychee Meiyun Amirah Yong Ming Lee Yeung Walter Edmund Daryl Joshua Sarah Li Siong Shihan Adrian Kirsten Jean Xiaojun Jasmine Mayeeeeeeeee Charlotte Sandy LaoPa LaoMa Bu (Ant) Yee Romie. Do those count as "love"?

Lameness. Saru has nothing better to think about. But neeways, God gives me a nice verse (a whole paragraph, actually), so yay I WILL have descendants. XDD

I realize Daryl is very honest, and I really like him. Lychee and Lee Yeung can really talk a lot, and I found myself having something to say, but being unable to speak them out because my response is slow. My brains lags when it comes to social interaction and is at sonicspeed with Mathematics and HTML. (Speaking of Maths, I saw my sister doing differentiation with all the dy and dx... OMG I want to take A Maths again!! RAWR.)

Daryl comments that closing my eyes and walking while holding on the person in front makes me vulnerable. But I don't think so since Lychee and Lee Yeung won't bang me into a lamp post on purpose. So I wonder what he means...

ASD!! It also stands for Auto-Shutdown. Unofficially one of the characteristics of ASD as observed by child psychologist. The habit of when, facing any form of stress which one wants to avoid, justing shutting down to sleep immediately as an effective form of escapism. Escape from thinking about what will happen when I grow older BY SLEEPING!!!

^ _ ^ Oyasumi.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

February's to-look-forward-to

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Listening: FORCE OF NATURE, Nujabes, Fat Jon - Hiji Suru Style


My team is a great team, we can win!! =DD LS and Hamster would do the painting and animation (I think). And Cheryl the reel and post-production. And Saru is the modeler for my team, as well as monster designer. Fun, right?

Like what Hamster's MSN nick said: What Morals?! ITZ THE GREENS!!!! FOR THE PRIZE MONEY!!!!

MOONNNEEEEYYYYYY. Saru so hopes that we win~


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Listening: M.H. - This Illusion
Watching: Code Geass Episode 16

Because I realize I suck at keeping to promising to update, I have decided to just post random stuff about whatever that came to my mind. That of course, meant leaving aside for good the already uber-long entry I had wanted to post with a lot of emo-crap.

The only bit of randomness I have left over from December is that, after the Casting Crowns concert, Joanne said I was cute. XDD And really, getting an honest compliment from Ant is one of the hardest thing in the world. "It easier for a camel to go through the eye of the needle..." Ho ho ho. She said it by accident, but whatever it is, I caught it.

The randomness from January was this: I'm the only one left un-attached. CJ and Xav both have their girlfriends. Yay for the coming Singles Awareness Day (14 February)!!

January/February's noteworthy: For the first time in like, four semesters, I actually have the time to slack a bit during Week 16 and 17. Like usually, I'll be an undead monkey (Zombie Lupin) drowning in end-of-semester schoolwork, but this time round I finished everything on time. Whahahahaha.

And oh, my MSN nick for this period is: Eyebags must be the latest in fashion. Everyone's having them. I have caught a little lame-ness off CJ.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

maple death

(Since the old NNK forums closed, I am on an uploading spree of my very old drawings.)

And this, is the reason why, whenever we are KO-ed, we wake to find ourselves back in a safe place.