it is one of those days

where you feel the impulse to open up your skull and grab your brains out to throw them hard against the wall. Like that.


I hate Max. I f*cking hate Max.

What this game really needs, is a PAUSE button.

=================================

Listening: YUI - again
Reading: Darren Shan manga - Volume 07
=================================

That. So that there will be fewer players who feel like rage-quitting.

The GM who plans events for my PC really has a really bad sense of humour. Or overestimates my capability.

During my final weeks of semester quest? He throws in a funeral event.


My maternal grandfather passed away suddenly, on Sunday morning, in the toilet. Of all of my parents and grandparents, he is the one whose personality mine is most similar too. Mum and I guess he had ADHD as well.

Tentatively, cremation on Thursday. We don't know yet because the body is still undergoing an autopsy.

myhandsohcrapcrappcraappp

I want to say help me. but i don't know to who.

My hands are weak. especially when i carry or pick up something. My palms are sweating. what should i do? it is not just my right hand: if it was it would be from modeling in maya the whole weekend. my left hand too.

What can i do? the rest of my body feels fine. it is just my arms. i am not sick... i think.

as one can tell, even typing is hard. i feel so bad, i did not go to school today.

h e l p . . . ?

i am scared

a guy i haven't met is making me haemorrhage through my nose

=================================

Listening: Gakupo - Joker
Reading: http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/N
=================================

Clearly, he is not a Real.

He is N from the new Pokemon game Black/White.



http://booru.151chan.org/post/list/N/2

Seriously, just look at him. *nosebleeds*

boy model in a gay walk pose

=================================

Listening: Meiko & Kaito - The Pair Tree Witherer
Reading: Fairy Tail Chapter 207-209
=================================



I hate:

• CAT Rig
• 3DS Max
• Digipen

Nice, the ADHD kicked in.

=================================

Listening: Kagamine Len - SPICE!
Random Quote: We die every time we hand in our assignments, and resurrect with 1HP directly after that. We recover half of our MaxHP with sleep. Cycle repeats, except recovery is up to a quarter. And then an eighth. And then sixteenth. Until the end of the semester. - Joelynn
=================================

I am not sure why. This semester, my ADHD seems to be in full blast. And Joelynn has been taking fish oils regularly most of the time too. Joelynn does not comprehend.

• She leaves my thumbdrive at home.
• She also leaves my handphone at home.
• She misplace assignments in his (now very neat) room. How does that happen?
• As a result, she leaves some of them out when he scan them.
• She cannot remember faces.
• She gets distracted within a third of the time he used to be.
• Though she read less manga, more dreams are seen and more events take place in his worlds.
• She cannot remember deadlines for crap.
• She cannot remember the exact specs of what is required.
• She forgets if he has eaten something she put in the fridge or not.
• She forgets to leave for school.

While all that does not affect me that badly (as a person), it will leave it's mark on my grades. One particular marine seal is particularly anal about punctuality and is warning me against failing. And that also causes me to mouth "fuck" to myself regularly. Siiigghh, Joelynn picked up another new bad habit.

I wonder if I could get some proper drugs for ADHD. Fish oil is fine and all, but sometimes desperate times may require desperate measures.

roleplay character portraits

=================================

Listening: Sound Horizon - Utsuku shiki Mono
Reading: Lamentable Nights: The RP
=================================

We restarted our RP at the NNK forums!! We're going reeeaally slow this round, making stuff clean and easy to follow. We have a user friendly wikia too!!

I tried to be funny this time, so I rendered these with Alias Sketchbook. (Yes, it is Alias, screw Autodesk.)


Varian Durer, my second PC, also a hidden character of sorts that will probably not show up at all, given the speed we are going at. (He also has a sister called Constance and a brother called Equates. Hail Mathematics!!)


My main PC. She's pretty much the same as in the previous failed RP. She's also an expy of an old character, Alex. So cute. =3 *sparkles*

i can't give a name to my emotion now

=================================

Listening: Detroit Metal City - Mesu Buta Koukyoukyoku
Watching: Birdy the Mighty DECODE 02 - Episode 12
=================================

I don't know, how to express myself. Much less expressing myself with drawings. I don't draw to express myself, I draw what I see in my head.



When I tried to express myself? We get this bad perspective thing.

10 favourite couples

=================================

Listening: Yakushimaru Etsuko - Jesus to Venus
Watching: Nurarihyon no Mago - Episode 2
=================================

I am bored.

Even though I am me who doesn't believe in romantic love, there are still couples I like rather much.

10. Igarashi Ganta / Shiro
(Deadman Wonderland)
Childhood friends who play together, despite the fact that one of them is a monster. Yea, I have no childhood.

9. Sima Yi / Shan Wuling
(The Ravages of Time)
Being together so they can make us of each other and scheme together? I approve.

8. Nougami Neuro / Katsuragi Yako
(Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro)
A sadistic demon who drags around a human girl to feed on the mysteries of other humans? I also approve. Well, there's also the fact that both have learnt from and taught each other many things about life.

7. Guts / Casca
(Berserk)
Guts may have struggled with it at first, but still tries to look after his wife, who is at the moment, mentally disabled. It is difficult, you know.

6. Ushiromiya Battler / Beatrice
(Umineko no Naku Koro ni)
They spent several years in a room debating. The proposition (an immortal witch) trolls humans about to prove that there are witches and magic, and the opposition (a human with a magic resistance of 9000+) vehemently refutes the existence of the supernatural. It is funny yet badass. And they got married.

5. Hanabishi Rekka / Satoshita Yanagi
(Flame of Recca)
It was something that started off as fanboyism of a ninja and his princess. Sweet in a simple straightforward way. And well, it was one of my first mangas.

4. Kamina / Yoko
(Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann)
Because Kamina is awesome.

3. Ichinomiya Kou (Recruit) / Nino
(Arakawa Under the Bridge)
Nino saves Kou in more than one ways, giving him a reason to do and receive acts of kindness without expecting a reward.

2. Amamiya Yuuhi / Asahina Samidare
(Lucifer and Biscuit Hammer)
Sami loves the world enough to want to destroy it, Yuu supports her because he hates the world and wants to destroy it. Lovely screwed-up-ness. Though Yuu starts to change through the series and stops Sami.

1. Pip Bernadotte / Seras Victoria
(Hellsing)
The only blood Seras ever drinks, is Pip's. ~__~ Those two are just really cute. Bwaaah---

End.

What is wrong with daydreams?

=================================

Listening: Suneohair - Sakasama Bridge
Watching: Birdy the Mighty Decode - The Cipher
Reading: Nononono - Chapter 60
=================================

I already understand, that fantasy and make-believe is a form of escapism from real life. But why is it wrong? Perhaps I should take it up to 11 and become a resident of Arakawa.

Everyone daydreams too, just each differing in their levels and type of imagination. Besides, if people like us don't daydream,
Who will write stories?
Who will draw illustrations?
Who will author manga?
Who will design characters?
Who will plan storyboards?
Who will shoot movies?
Who will animate films?
Who will make games?


As a parent, I feel sad that my children/creation's existence is being so definitively rejected. I am more God-like then I know, sometimes.

I am on a spree!

I took the so-called free time I have now to go crazy on the mangas and some animes. Even though I am plagued by other works and commissions yea. Such an irresponsible person I am.

Lucifer and Biscuit Hammer - manga
This series is ending~!! Chapter 62! Bwaaah, I am envious of you, Yuu-kun.

Durarara! - anime
Unlike Biscuit Hammer, I don't understand why this series is not popular. The author is a really wonderful storyteller.

Deadman Wonderland - manga
Shiro and Ganta combined attack. Now, how awesome is that? I feel sad for Madoka still. I hope there is some way that Shiro could save him.

Durarara! - anime
Yes yes yes story climax! I hope Trollzaya gets owned, though the chances of that happening is low.

Shiki - manga
FUJIRYU * _ * Style too awesome. Plot seems normal enough, but somehow, I am drawn in. Natsuno did something unexpected... And... should I be cheering or booing the HoYay between him and Touru?

House of Five Leaves - anime
For once, I like such a plain and serious anime. The style is just creepy cool. Masa's adorable too, but I think I'm watching it more out of respect for Samurai Champloo.

Arakawa Under the Bridge - manga/anime
Such a whimsical and out of this world manga/anime. SISTER~!! Probably, the first time I've ever adore a cross-dressing man. He is just too cute. "Who names a girl after a helicopter?"

Hellsing - manga / Hellsing Ultimate - anime
I rarely squeal over a girl, but every time Seras appears, I find myself doing so. She's bloody cute, and it's nothing to do with her rack. *fanboys* Of course, Pip is incredibly sexy as well, but since he is now a part of her, it's safe to say that I really like Seras.

The World God Only Knows - manga
And this, has to be my favourite harem manga. Keima is very charming, to me. For his deference to his virtual word and complete disregard for real life. This, is a man after my own heart. ~__~

Soul Eater - manga
I don't even know why. Soul and Maka vs. Giriko? Black☆Star vs. Kid?
And I miss Chrona.


(There are, of course, many other mangas I am reading, but these are those I am especially looking forward to/just finished, in particular.)

The ⑨ bucket list

=================================

Listening: Kagamine Rin And Len - Road Roller
Reading: Walter's post
Random Quote: Many who plan to seek God at the eleventh hour die at ten-thirty. - Christian Proverb
=================================

I felt like doing this. They things that are little and insignificant, and even rather random, but I still want to try doing them anyway. Pointless, but if it isn't, it won't be called the Cirno list won't it?

To be done. In progress. Done.

• Sleep for 24 hours
• Climb a tree
• Own a DSLR
• Talk with autistic people
• Sing a song and post on YouTube
• Make a short animation and post on YouTube
• Be a celebrity on the internet
• Compose a song
• Lead worship in a meeting bigger than a cell
• Play all (main) Touhou games
• Play at least 50% of Sonic games
• Meet an online friend from another country
• Teach a drawing class to children
• Release a short manga one-shot on my Chinese birthday
• See the sunset at Changi Beach
• See the sunrise at Changi Beach
• Stay in a hospital for a week
• Wear an eyepatch out
• Get a scar on my face
• Rub my art in the face of my Primary school teachers

I guess I will add more stuff when I feel like it.

Somehow I was proposed to...

=================================

Reading: The World God Only Knows - Chapter 102
Random Quote: Can you don't go home? — A kid at the SCC
=================================

... by a seven-year-old boy. It went like this:

Boy: Teacher, are you married?
Me: (chuckling) Ah... No, not yet.
Girl: He want to marry you.
Me: Ehh?! Ummm... (turns to boy) You want to marry me?
Boy: (looks away silently)

~___~ And, thus, I have collected another manga-panel-like situation.

I was convinced, for the first time, that things that happen in a shoujo manga can happen in real life. Boy is born with a weak body. He cannot overexert himself: walking too long, running too fast, laughing too loud, getting too exited, any of those or more could get him sent to hospital. His uncle has to carry to him school, because he is too weak to cover the distance from his home with his own two feet.

He has no mother. Why? I don't know. But I know that for this reason, he is easily attached to any woman who seems nice enough. He would hug her and hold her. (That's why the teachers tell his father to clip his nails lest he will scratch them unknowingly.)

Many of the kids in the SCC are from disadvantaged families: poor, single parent, or both. Even for the short amount of time spent there, I could tell, that those children who are missing a mother, are much more sticky and physically affectionate to me, as if to fill in the space left behind by the absent mother. I am not physically a man, or I would have been able to see the empty space caused by an absent father by those who lack one as well.

Sheesh, parents. Please learn to copulate responsibly.


NOTE: I am working part-time, teaching drawing/art at a Student Care Centre where parents who don't have maids park their kids for a day so they can go to work.

"this does not look like your drawing"

, they said.

=================================

Listening: Rookiez is Punk'd - Complication
Reading: Arago - Chapter 22
=================================

(Ya, it is backdated because I forgot to post earlier.)

Drawn as a worksheet of sorts for the upper-primary kids at the SCC. I realise that Beta Centre (Upper Primary) have to be taught differently when compared to Alpha Centre (Lower Primary). Due to too much exposure to Singapore's educational system of too much technicality, too much note-taking and organised topic-by-topic learning. Thus the reason for making these notes.


Felice the witch. I haven't drawn her for a long time. =3 She looks adorable in this style too. XDD


Hawk. As expected of a character whose sight I found annoying the very first time I drew him. And it is rare for a parent to dislike his child, and for me to dislike a character I created. ~__~ But it seems, that his horrible personality have snuck it's way into my drawing again. I think I like him a little more than the Trollzaya. And that's not a lot.


Coloured, for fun.


Those kids first thought I downloaded it off the internet. I said, no, I drew it. Then they said it doesn't look like my drawing. =___= I told them that being an artist is my rice bowl, and knowing a few different styles would make me able to eat not just rice, but noodles, bread and pasta as well. Sssiigh, talking to kids makes me lamer.

Then they went, ah, you're a real artist. =___=

Rawr you little noobs, that's what I've been saying for the past @#$% hours. Though technically, I am not an artist. I am a draftsman. A digital artist. Illustrator. Yea, those.

i was digging about in my folders

... and I found this. Something I drew last year for something that didn't work out. But he's so cute. XDD

<3 the arm.



This piece is the result of my first time screwing about in Manga Studio EX. I didn't know a lot of things then, so I used a lot of wrong settings/tools/layer/etc. Looking back, I think that's why I am not using it now. >.< I too used to Photoshop I guess.

RAAAGE~!! (Clients are stupid. Always.)

=================================

Watching: Alvin and the Chipmunks
Reading: Clients From Hell
=================================

So I emailed someone who previously invited me to apply to a job at her company, for a part-time job in the holidays.

[insert correspondence here]

She says:
I will be an "intern". She will pay me $500 per month. I will have to get my butt down to Kallang from 0930 to 1830 every Monday to Friday.




Like, seriously? I have a Diploma you know. And even intern saikang warriors at Lucas get paid more than that. I should be getting more than this miserable MacDonalds pay.

i found the time to rewatch Baccano!! and, it is still good

=================================

Listening: Train - Hey Soul Sister
Watching: Durarara! Episode 19
Random Quote: If she wants to kill me, that'd mean she doesn't love me... I believe. — Claire Stanfield to Rachel
=================================

After watching Baccano!! the second time round, I found that my fanboying of Claire Stanfield remains. There were, however other characters that I discovered I like.

I particularly enjoyed the last 5 or 6 episodes. XDD

So here, a few screenshots of my new characters to like. (It is rather difficult to dislike any character at all, really.) I guess this would be a summary of how Claire confessed to Chane.

First he stalks looks for some of his friends.


One of which, takes off running.


Very quickly.


Which is no surprise, considering what Claire did to him on the train.


Yes, he broke Czeslaw's neck with one hand.


And since his victim is immortal...


... Claire proceeds to kill him. Again. And again. And... again.


Other tortures which I did not bother to screencap (due to not want to hear all the bones breaking and blood splurting) include biting off his fingers, grinding his body onto the train tracks while the train is traveling at full speed...

Poor kid. I'm pretty sure he regrets trying to commission Ladd Russo to murder the whole train already. Yes, that seems to be Claire's favourite form of torturing. I feel sorry for Czeslaw and Nicholas and Dune. (Maybe not so for Dune.)

No doubt, whatever Vino the assassin does to this cocky kid is enough to transform him...


... into a running chicken.

Claire you bastard, don't look so surprised. Czeslaw being that emotionally scared is totally your fault.

And then he proceeds to seek advice from the only person who will put up with him. (There's the Gandor brothers, but they can't be bothered any more.)


Didn't he already propose when he told Chane that he wanted to be her father's son-in-law?


But well, Claire doesn't know what Chane meant went she said "I will find you".



And there, Claire Stanfield and Chane Laforet get their Happy End.


Speaking of Chane, since I have been watching Durarara!! as well, I found the interactions between Jacuzzi Splot (retardedly epic name) and Chane Laforet reminiscence of that between Ryugamine Mikado and Celty Sturluson.


Furthermore, both are boys who appear like weak stuttering crybabies when they are actually the GAR-est of leaders. They have...... memorable names. (Hail the Emperor of Dragon's Peak!) The similarities increase.




And on to Durarara!!, I still think Izaya is an ass. I quote Shizuo:


I wish that Trollzaya would get owned by Claire someday. Though I don't know how that will happen, since in canon, Claire is a good 70 years older than Izaya.

I wonder though: who is stronger? Claire Stanfield Vino Rail Tracer or Heiwajima Shizuo GARtender?

Pokemon Adventures x Durarara!!

=================================

Listening: Theatre Brook - Uragiri no Yuuyake
Watching: Durarara!! Episode 16
Reading: Pokemon Adventures Vol 32
=================================

I picked up an old manga I haven't read in years, because I was packing my room. And yes, it's Pokemon Adventures. And no, it is not childish. It is pretty much as good (or better?) than any other shounen series. Despite running in a children's magazine, the plot of this manga is rather mature. Stuff like violence and relationships. And the characters are adorable. <3

Speaking of adorable characters, that is one thing Narita Ryougo is really good at. First it was Baccano!!, then now, it is Durarara!! that has captured my heart. Shinra is so adorable. Celty too. Dojikko, as Shinra's dad calls her.

And now, the fanart. Or fan MAD video.

Shadow of the Caliphate

What it says on the tin. (Yea, I forgot to post until now. ~__~)

The animation project for Semester 3. All animations done in 3 weeks, but 4 people.



Man the monkey is just too sexy. Yeps, all of his scenes are done by me~

my reaction when asked about school

and He speaks

=================================

Listening: Joey's cello and metronome
Reading: Shibatora Chapter 26
Random Quote: But everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. — Acts 2:21 [NLT]
=================================

Believe in me and you will be saved.

Is this Your reply to me...?

DigiPen and SIT

=================================

Listening: Miyazaki Ayumi - Brave Heart
Eating: Rum Chocolate
=================================

I have officially, wasted 2 years, and 33 thousand dollars.

I went down to blade at midnight. Then my stomach kissed the floor and I got a large patch of skin scraped off my elbow. It hurts so much, that one day later, I cried and I cried and cried.

If my mother wasn't there, I might have tried kissing the floor a few more times. Then I might have cried several days later.


I hate this game.

I joined a guild with the promise of gaining a new super-rare weapon. If I payed them 18000gold a year, and trained with them for four years, I could get the super-rare. Two years later, the players who are masters of the land decided to help the guild, so now, the super-rare weapon can be obtained with only 4500gold a year, and training for two years.

And us who are already in the guild? The past two years of training did not exist. We have to start again, and go through another two years. Our 36000gold and 2years have just disappeared because the guild system changed. I could have spent two years in another guild, a guild which specially invited me to join them, doing quests to earn 36000gold instead.

We are just... unlucky.

I hate this game. I am, exceptionally pissed with the GM. It was Him who had recommended me this guild in the first place. I hear that the GM loves the players. And He loves me...? I will wait and see then. GM, I hope I have not spent my 36000gold and 2 years in vain. I am still angry.

I wished someone would PK me already.


FML.

My stomach has been hurting from the impact of hitting the ground. But I find the pain comforting. As least it is something I can understand. Everything else is confusing and weird. I cannot understand everything else.

it was, like a manga panel

=================================

Listening: May'n - Shinkuu no Diamond Crevasse
Reading: Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer Chapter 39
=================================

Figured out, that while it is still term break, I ought to blog.


I had planned a rollerblade outing at ECP yesterday. And as I went along inviting the few people I had in mind, those people asked if more people could come, so I the end I became the organizer for a group of 11. Fun =3 (It became a blade-cycle session instead.)

When everyone had returned their bikes, I had an accident.

It was near the rental area, so it was rather crowded. And then the me on blades found myself heading straight for another guy on blades. We both tried to avoid each other... in the same direction. And, epic CRASH. He landed smack on top of me. A guy and a girl crashing into each other result in the guy landing on top. Classic anime moment ain't it? Ta dah.

Thankfully, it was on grass (albeit rather dried up grass). I landed not on my butt, but on my spine. The guy got up first and tried to help me us. I couldn't stand yet, because it hurts, so I told him so. By the time I got up, he had disappeared. I suppose a big group of my friends were around so he thought he wasn't needed and had better make his escape first.

Having experienced an anime moment first-hand, I thought I should record some information:

1. True - The guy will always land on top.
   He is the bigger and heavier one after all.
2. False - It leaves the girl a strong impression of the guy.
   I don't even remember how he looks like. Except he has broad shoulders and is wearing black.
3. False - The guy gets ridiculously happy.
   While I am not a guy, I don't think that is possible because everything happens way too fast.
4. False - the two will get up rubbing their foreheads.
   Forehead-smashing will not result in that type of fall. Body-smashing WILL. Therefore, the girl should be getting up rubbing their butt (because that is what will hurt).

EDIT: I should have taken his number as Yun Yun suggested. My back still hurts, even after a week. Need to call him for accident report.

ISAA LOU YII

=================================

Listening: 50 Action Bible Songs - He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands
Drinking: Lipton Quality Black Tea
Random Quote: You are quite smart, right? So thank God!! - Mom
=================================

My girl was chirping for the whole of today: "ISAALOUYII~" "Isaalou yii~" "Isaa LOU yii" "IsAA louyii" "Isaa lou YII~"

And I died from cute overload.

What happened today was, during worship, a new song with the lyrics "Jesus loves me" was being sang. Because she came late (as always), that was the only song she heard of the entire worship. And she remembered these lyrics and was happy for the rest of today repeating these words. I don't know if she understood these words, but she seemed so happy whenever she said it.

It makes me so pleased. This is a great improvement from the girl four months ago who could only communicate by means of aahh iiii ooo eehh and the like. We are hearing things that sound like words from her mouth. Even her mother said she had improved a lot.

It isn't just her. Ever since the children ministry Special Needs group started, all the children that have came to us have improved. One of our Downs Syndrome boys and two of our Global Delay kids have integrated into the group with normal children. It takes a long time, but hey, who says there are no rewards to serving in the Special Needs?

It is because of this, that I am apprehensive about whether I should move on to serving the normal kids. Like, I like my own much. ; ___ ; Even if other people give up on them, I still want to be with them. =3

The Shepherd and his Sheep

=================================

Listening: Hillsong - His Glory Appears
Reading: Fairy Tail Chapter 166
=================================

It is a housewarming gift for woman who used to report to my dad. She is a single mother with two kids.



Drawing Jesus ate the most time out of me. I think I can somewhat understand how the writers of the bible felt like every time they had to write the letters "יהוה" (YHWH). Probably their hands shook, and got sweaty, and maybe worse.


EDIT: Divine revelation is divine. Half of her house walls were green!! It matched perfectly.

wow i got an asthma attack

=================================

Listening: Nico Nico Chorus - Love is War
Reading: Bible - Genesis 4
=================================

It has been a long time since I experience one this bad. Could not lie down, had to sleep sitting up. Chest hurts, coughs whole night, tonnes of phlegm stuck in me.

Doctor costs 69 dollars, of which 45 dollars goes to the box of TAMIFLU with 10 capsules. Wow, one capsule is $4.50. Roche must be bloody rich.


EDIT: Anyone tried Holy Spirit as a treatment for asthma? I found that it very works well when taken with Ventolin.


I miss Malaysia. But maybe, it is the food I ate in Malaysia that caused my sickness.